Appropriate/Inappropriate

There are appropriate and very inappropriate responses when someone tells you they are pregnant. I'll give some examples:

Good - "Wow. I could just tell... You have this beautiful glow about you."
Bad - "I wondered why you looked so tired." or "I thought you were having hot flashes or something!"
Good - "Congratulations! I'm so thrilled for you!"
Bad - (same as above, but said in a non-convincing and condescending manner)
Good - "Oh, I bet you'll be a cute pregnant!"
Bad - "Whoa. Is that what's going on down there? I was gonna tell you to lay off the potato chips."
Good - "Tell me whenever you know if it's a boy or a girl because I'd love to make your little one a baby blanket!" (I've gotten this one, thankfully!)
Bad - "Well they say two negatives make a positive." (I haven't gotten this one, thankfully...)

I have gotten a lot of really wonderful responses to my news, probably because I've mostly told only people who are dear to me. I've had to tell a few people out of circumstance and obligation though, and have been pretty bummed at some responses. One of these came about today with a coworker I'm not fond of. And I know that this secret is mine, NOT hers, and that I shouldn't give a rip at what she thinks anyway. It's just when someone steps on a dream of yours, you get upset. Human nature. So after today, I've decided that there will be no more telling out of obligation. If I want someone to know, I will tell them. Otherwise, they can hear it through the gossip line. This is something I will not allow tarnished by crabby old bitter people, no matter who they are.

On a happier note, I've gotten really sweet responses too. I told another coworker about a week ago, a total sweetheart, who is a local high school senior. She literally jumped up and down for joy and gave me a great big hug! Now THAT is a response. Just lately, she even brought me a little gift for Jellybean - a good luck pig! It's a South American piece of pottery that is a three-legged pig. It's hilarious. I am totally putting it in the "Nursery."

I'm going to focus on the positive responses I've gotten and those are the people I know I can count on. Those are the folk that I know truly care. And those are the folks I want to include in my wee one's future.

10 Weeks

The big ten weeks... I'm here. For a little while, other than the typical morning sickness whatnot and the other grossness, I was mainly feeling pregnant in my head. Today I feel pregnant ALL OVER. Even my toes feel pregnant today. I've been going to Curves pretty regularly to do a bit of low-impact cardio workout and I went today. Dude. I feel it. Today was the first real day of feeling like I'm really starting to show and when I jog in-place, it kinda hurts/jiggles. (Does that sound horribly nasty?) Tim was watching me this morning in my p.j.s and he said that he can see my little pooch. Crazy. Well, my a.m. pooch is a whole lot cuter than my p.m. pooch.

Want to know what's going on down there? Apparently, my polliwog has lost it's tail! According to Pregnancy Weekly, my "baby is somewhere between 1 and 1-1/2 inches in length and probably weighs about 4 grams (or as much as four paper clips). He or she has lips, toes, eyes that are usually open, ears that are completely formed, and the genitals are becoming more clearly defined. The little polliwog you have inside has lost its "tail" and this week marks the end of the embryonic stage and the beginning of the fetal stage!" Did you read that?!? All day today, I carried around 4 paper clips and whenever I was feeling blue, I pulled out those clips and held them in my hand and remembered to myself what really matters right now. I had to do that a couple of times today.

Baby Pudge

Okay, so here it is... my current belly. And you better not say pudge or even think it, because that is BABY. For real. I know, because I've been watching. Also, I've been a good girl and been going to Curves and doing low-impact aerobics and whatnot (doctor approved, of course). Well, maybe some of it is late-night cookie cravings, but that is the baby's fault. The baby wanted cookies. Not me.

So, I am quickly coming up on my 10 week mark. Almost at the end of this first trimester. I can't wait to be done with morning sickness and to get back a renewed sense of energy. It seems like all I do lately is sleep. I had a "Snow Day" yesterday and I had all kinds of "nesting" plans for the future nursery, but what I ended up doing is watching a couple of episodes of Lost and taking a 2 hour nap. Nice, ehh? I am a bum. Well, I've got 2 weeks of this to go.

Speaking of morning sickness, I have found a wonderful aid. Hot mint tea. I have all this Tazo tea left over from when Andy worked at Starbucks and he would bring us tons of the stuff. So little brother, here's to you and your miraculous healing mint tea. Thanks man. I think I'll go make a cup now.

Nine Weeks

Nine Weeks:
"This week, your baby-to-be grows to between 20 and 28 millimeters from crown to rump, or roughly the size of a strawberry. Weighing in at two grams, your baby is very active, although it is too tiny for you to feel its movements yet. He or she now has all the major organs, muscles, and nerves. While his or her testes or ovaries are formed, the external genitalia still appear sexless, which is why it is too early for an ultrasound to reveal its gender. Eyelids are beginning to form and the trunk is straightening and elongating, cartilage and bones are forming, the basic structures of the eyes are in place, and the tongue is beginning to develop. The fingers and thumb are visible, albeit short and webbed. A major accomplishment!" (Pregnancy Weekly)

I'd say. And momma's been absolutely green. I think it's hilarious talking to my big sis lately. She keeps telling me that she misses being pregnant and that she is gonna live vicariously through me for these nine (actually ten) months. This cracks me up, because I'd give her my morning sickness any day! I am so ready to feel something other than nausea and bloating. I daily feel disgusting. But I hear that the second trimester is fabulous. If I can just make it through these next few weeks, I'll be home free - I hope.

Speaking of my sister, she gave me some excellent pregnancy books. I think she's proofread basically everything that is out there on pregnancy. She always had a book in hand while she was going through her pregnancy. I've actually tried to stay away from doing too much research on the topic. I have a tendency to be a hypochondriac about certain things and too much information for me is really not good. But since Beck has already read these, she told me the ones that I'd enjoy reading. So far, I am really loving Frankly Pregnant by Stacy Quarty. It is too funny. And she is right on target about the symptoms I'm feeling. In the intro, she says something like how when she was pregnant, she wished for a buddy to go through it with her and that she patterned this book specifically to become that buddy. And I'm so glad to have her along for the ride! It's great to know that the greasy hair/funky smells/gross indigestion/ sore boobs/achy lower back/variations of diarrhea and constipation/ear popping/fatigue/dry skin/general itchiness/and crazy woman hormones are not just something unique to me. Misery loves company, especially company with a sense of humor.

I bought my first pair of maternity pants Saturday night. They don't look too "maternity," just a bit of elastic right where I need it and a low belt. I've noticed that my pants are starting to hurt a bit in the waist, because I'm starting to show. Nobody else seems to think so, but I look at my tummy way more than anyone else, so I should know. I need to take a belly picture pretty soon. And hey, I'm over two months pregnant already!

Baby's First Photo

Dad's Thoughts
So, today we went in for Suzy's first ultrasound since she got pregnant. We've known for a little while now, but there's nothing that makes it more real than to see a tiny little heart beating on the video screen. Suzy was really nervous, I was excited and it was a relief when it was all over. I think we have just been building this day up in our mind as a little hurdle to get over. Now that it's "official" we can begin telling the rest of the family and some of our close friends. It's been hard to keep this a secret for so long (a whole month), so I'm looking forward to telling people I'm going to be a dad. One of the funniest things that stuck out to me was the receptionist. After we scheduled our next ultrasound and doctor visit, she said,"We'll be seeing a lot of you!" It made me realize just how much things are going to change in the coming months, stay tuned for the next episode!

Mom's Thoughts
(Whoa. That word still sounds crazy to be. Mom. I'm going to be a M.O.M.) This doctor visit made things really real for me. I can't believe I'm gonna be a mom! Today I saw our little Jellybean's heart beat! There are no words to express how that feels - to know without a shadow of a doubt - that there is a person inside of me growing. (Yes, of course I went ahead and took the second and third pregnancy tests last month, so I was pretty sure, but you can never be too sure, you know.) I was so nervous about this visit. I've been praying that everything in my body is working the way it should and that I'm taking care and providing the nutrients that my baby needs, but to hear your doctor say "Congratulations, your baby is doing just fine..." is a total relief. It's funny, I must have been a wreck, because the nurse who took my pulse and blood pressure asked me if I was nervous. Well duh. Yeah I am! And the "pelvic exam" was much rougher than I've ever remembered it being, again because I was so nervous. So, when we finally heard our Jellybean's heart, I was pretty euphoric. And I'm so glad Tim was with me because nothing anybody said afterwards made any sense to me. I heard the doctor, the nurses, and the lady at the reception desk speaking, but I guess I was just somewhere else in my head, dreaming of our little Jellybean.

The Ultra(Nervous)Sound

Week Eight:
"Your baby’s fluttering heart would show up on an ultrasound performed this week. He or she is between 0.56 and 0.8 inches from crown to rump - or about the size of a grape - its liver is churning out large amounts of red blood cells, and will continue to until the bone marrow forms and takes over this function. Week eight marks the beginning of a very busy developmental stage: its face continues to change as the ears, eyes and the tip of the nose appear; the intestines start to form in the umbilical cord; and your baby's teeth begin to develop under the gums." Pregnancy Weekly

Well, I should hope that my jellybean's heart will show up on the ultrasound because I'm going today at 2:30 to hear it! There are no words to tell you how jittery I am right now. I'm seriously excited about this ultrasound, but also nervous as anything! All the "what if's" in the world are going through my mind right now. One of the big ones is "What if there are two or more jellybeans in there?!?" Holy cow. I don't even know what I'd do. (I don't want that to sound bad! I will be thrilled to have a healthy child and if I'm having more than one healthy fledgling, then Tim and I will make it work. It will be crazy, but we can do it.) Seriously though - I will have to have my momma come live with me if I'm having twins! Or Tim's momma. Basically, one of our momma's will have to live here. Maybe they can rotate turns.

Wish me luck! Hopefully I will be returning home with a photograph of some sort... Baby's first picture. Crazy!

I'm already 7 weeks!!!

"Week 7: Your baby-to-be is the size of a small bean, measuring approximately 9 to 11 millimeters crown to rump. While this tiny body is busy making all sorts of changes, you won't feel any activity inside your belly -- just yet."

Oh contraire, mon frere. I'm feeling all kinds of crazy in my belly. Well, okay not the baby kicking or whatever, but I tell ya I've had some serious morning sickness! So far, I've only literally thrown up once. In my mind though, I've thrown up a dozen times - a day. Becky suggested Sea Bands, which is an acupressure type of deal. Tim picked me up a pair today, so I'll see if this helps any. I am just going to have to wear long sleeves for a while, as I am not gonna tell anyone at work any time soon.

This morning, I had to sit through the world's most excruciatingly frustrating staff meeting, all the while feeling like I could just puke on my neighbor. That was REAL fun. And everyone was kind of bunched in tightly, so there was no escape route or anything. I was pretty worried that it was going to be a disaster. Luckily, I grabbed a bottle of water prior to the meeting and I tried to find an inner happy place! I really hope I won't have to sit through anything so painful again for a while. Wow.

But other than the general queasiness (all the time, not just in the "morning"), I'm doing fine. This weekend, Tim and I are taking a little road trip with some friends up to Quebec City. It will be about an 8 or 9 hour drive. I'm really wondering how I'm gonna fare in the car that long. And then, we are even sharing a hotel room. So yeah, our friends Emily and Brandon are probably gonna know about my pregnancy before the weekend is through! Otherwise, they are gonna think I have some real issues.

I'm not fat, I'm pregnant.

Ugg. Somebody please make me a t-shirt that says this. I will so wear it. I know I'm not really "showing" but I feel like I sure am. And pity me because I'm only 7 weeks now! Imagine what I'm gonna be like in another month or two... I know I shouldn't be so self-conscious about the potential baby weight gain because I am growing a person in there, but I guess I am just really vain. You hear that, baby? You have a vain momma. I'm gonna go walk on my tread mill.